The Dark Side of the Liberal Movement

So far my blogs have been about LGBT relationships, only somewhat alluding to another issue that is near and dear to me.  Long before I came out I was an LD student living in conservative Indiana.  My first experiences with discrimination were as a dyslexic child.  Back then, in the 1980s, the cause of dyslexia and ADD weren’t understood.  In fact there were doubts that ADD even really existed.  ADHD wasn’t even considered yet, and therefor wasn’t up for discussion.  To legally get the help I needed I had to be labeled as disabled, but the clear understanding of what category of disability people with dyslexia belonged under was up for debate.  As a child I was deemed to be mildly mentally retarded.  One of my clearest memories in school was going up to a teacher to tell her I was being called a retard and her saying, “Now Erica, retard is just short for retarded.  It may not be a nice way of putting it, but it’s not wrong.” 

What I learned was if one was being picked on for something that was true than it was deserved, and no one would do anything about it.  This shaped much of how I reacted to my budding sexuality.  I knew what happened to girls who came out.  When some boys decided that I was a lesbian and began to molest me in high school I knew I couldn’t say anything.  It would be decided that I deserved it.  For me, the process of coming out and growing up with a learning disability will forever be intertwined.  I was abused for my perceived sexuality.  They got away with it because the teacher didn’t want an LD student in his class.  I bring this up because what I have to talk about is directly affected by the attitudes that made such a childhood possible. 

You see, much of my life is determined by the issues I have as a dyslexic, but much of my political activity is directed by the fact that I am a lesbian.  In a very real way these things just don’t mesh.  Liberalism doesn’t have a place for people with disabilities that effect spelling and reading.  It is assumed that bad spelling means one is uneducated, and poor reading means one is ignorant.  I’ve noticed this attitude time and time again by friends of mine, and their reactions to when I call them out on their mockery of the tea parties creative spelling. 

An example would be a site called UPWORTHY.com I used to follow their page on Facebook, but I had to stop because of the vial attacks on me.  The final straw was when I commented on a video.  You see, I listen to articles using software called NaturalReader.  I select text, hit play, and hear what you read.  Before it, the best I could do was read titles and maybe two articles a night.  I just don’t read quickly enough or functionally enough to do more.

But, I’m still a college student and I spend most nights doing school work.  Some of which I could do while listening to articles.  Because of this while I listen to one article I am scrolling down Facebook looking for other articles to listen to until I have a full cue.  It is not uncommon for me to have up to 30 articles in cue at one time.  This means that if I am going to make a comment on Facebook it has to be before I actually get a chance to watch or read it.  I saw a title for a video, and thought it was self-explanatory enough to make an opinion.  As a person with a disability that effects reading it is a given that from time to time I’m going to be embarrassed by a mistake I make.  I accept that as a fact of life, like a blind person needing help getting from one end to another of a room they’ve never been in. 

What proceeded to happen because of this misunderstanding became a three day barrage of insults informing me that I didn’t have the right to comment on anything if I was too stupid and lazy to actually watch it first.  This was after explaining the mistake and why.  My learning disability wasn’t an explanation for an error by a disabled person deserving of respect, it was proof that I was, in fact stupid and lazy.  The fact that I made the mistake because I was trying to make time for school work was beside the point. 

Now, this is my point.  You are a 17 or 18 year old kid with severe dyslexia and you are trying to decide what your political stance is.  You are looking over a liberal site and you run into this situation.  Exactly how do you think that young person sees the liberal party at that moment?  They move on to see this pic:

And the only thing commented on is how stupid the person was who wrote it because they misspelled antichrist.  A poorly understood fact about dyslexics; we literally don’t see spelling errors.  It isn’t just that we can’t spell, we can’t, but the way we see letters makes us tend to autocorrect what we can spell to what was really meant. 

So what this child has learned is if there is one movement that has no place for them, that will never accept them, and that they will have to spend their lives being maligned for being who they are, it is the liberal party.  The sad part is that child will be 100% correct.  The even sadder part is this means we are actively working to insure intelligent capable young people become conservative tea party members who are systematically defunding the very education these children need.  It’s not that the Democratic Party is really taking much time or effort into helping LD kids, but at least in their efforts to expand education they don’t take from LD kids, they just ignore us.

Now, as an out and proud lesbian, and the daughter of two democrats I kind of have to be a part of this party wanted or not, but the point still remains that I’m not really wanted as I am.  Sure I can be as out and gay and be as outspoken as I want on that, but if I ever dare allow fatigue to get the better of me and post something without running it through spellcheck and grammar check, and then proof read it with reading software at least three times I better be willing to pay the price.  I’m expected to hide yet again in a community that is supposed to be mine, but in point of fact isn’t. 

My argument has always been when these jokes about the bad spelling in signs come up that there is a legitimate issue being ignored.  This is for the chance to basically do to these people what was done to me as a child.  When we lower ourselves in this way we become the bully on the playground, and I was bullied that way.  They only thing it ever did was tell me these weren’t really my people.  There was a made for TV movie made where a mother disowned her son for being gay.  After he killed himself she spoke out in support for gay rights.  In a speech she made she asked people to think about the words said because, “Our children are listening.”  Well, at the risk of being overly dramatic here, 1 in 5 people are dyslexic, and 1 in 5 of our children see these mockeries of issues they struggle with.  They see people called stupid for struggles they endure and they are listening. 

You are perpetuating another generation who will struggle with shame, and hide a fundamental part of who they are, because they aren’t stupid.  They aren’t lazy.  These are children usually with above average intelligence, these are people who work harder than you can ever understand to do things you find easy.  These are people whose causes go right along with the issues we speak out for.  So why not knock off the jokes, and point out the real wrong.  Be a welcoming place for people like me.  At the very least, consider who might be listening. 

Straight Pride? Well, Okay but...

Today was the main day for Fort Wayne Pride, and overall it was a wonderful day with my family and a good friend of mine.  We helped raise money for a support group for LGBTQ youth.  We did well.  At least well enough to expand next year and maybe get some sponsors to help out.  When I got home I got on Facebook to share a post and found this shared by my sister:  

Just so you don’t get the wrong idea this was my sister's response to it. 

“I see this and all I can think is, "It is about as needed as a WHITE PRIDE sign." I've never felt the need to fight for being straight any more than I have had to struggle with the difficulties of being white in America. I've never felt the need to prove that my straightness should be defended. I kind of wonder why, in a country where no straight people have to defend their love of the opposite sex, why the heck is this needed? The only thing I can think of is that some people just want some attention and since they have nothing that makes them different then all they can do is complain about their extreme average-ness. I'd like a sign that fights for my right to use the internet to look up coupons. I already do this; it isn't a struggle so I think I may need a sign.
That is my "How ridiculous can we be?" post for the day.”

My sister and I have a tendency to play off of each other and I responded with this.  At least the first paragraph, I was going long and realized this was more of a topic than I thought. 

Every so often straight friends will ask if they would be welcome at pride and I always say, "Of cores, you can be proud too." as far as I'm concerned LGBT pride IS about straight pride to. It is about allowing everyone to be equally proud and open about themselves so one day Pride isn't necessary. There will never be a happier and more glorious day in the pride movement than the day it is obsolete, if people who shared pictures depicting a need for straight pride understood that they'd get why this is offensive. The rainbow was selected and kept as a pride symbol because it represents diversity. And diversity means everyone, even those people we don't like. Weather people like Scott Lively, Fowler Fin, and Mike Pence like it or not they are a part of that rainbow, gay straight or otherwise.

The rainbow is used as a gay symbol not to exclude straight people, or to make a spectacle of ourselves, but to say we are a part of the world and we deserve to be seen.  It’s the same thing as when gay people say things about the transgender community, or the drag community.  They aren’t just some marginal extreme.  They are a part of what we are.  The fight for transgender rights isn’t just about fighting for the right to pee in the restroom of choice any more than marriage rights are just about marriage.  They are both about people saying we are people who have the right to define who we are as we are, even if it makes other people uncomfortable.  Because people’s civil rights are not determined by the comfort level of the majority.  At least it shouldn’t be.  The drag community isn’t just about men dressing as women and women dressing as men.  That is a part of it, but the point is to say there is no shame in a feminine man.  Girly and being like a girl isn’t an insult, it is just another way to be.

This may not be the view of everyone, but if we use the rainbow to represent diversity it should be diversity as a whole.  It should be about saying we will incorporate all people into this concept of pride.  We first used the word pride as a way to counter what society said we should feel; shame and in turn exclusion.  We have pride now, so now we demand what having pride requires; inclusion.  If that’s the case, though the rainbow is ours, it should be meant to represent what it is we are fighting for.  It should be used to show, not just the diversity of the LGBT community, but the future goal of being totally included in every way without conflict into the world community.  In this case I believe in leading by example. 

When I say that straight people should be proud too I am not saying that they need to make a show of “straight pride”, but that we can enjoy our one acceptance of self together, and in that they show support for us.  This may seem convoluted, but I believe our fight for civil rights cannot be fought without the help of the straight community.  That is what the Ally is for.  At that pride booth today I was actually the only member of the LGBT community there.  Out of Eight people trying to raise money to help LGBTQ youth only one was a lesbian. 

So yes, straight pride.  Pride for those straight people who see a woman dressed in all men’s cloths and just sees a person.  Pride for those straight people who see two men kissing and smile because they see two people who found each other.  Straight pride for the grandma who show’s off her grandson who is now her granddaughter with a smile of how pretty she is.  Straight pride for the Ally.  Straight pride for the person who is willing to put their hat into a fight that will in no way directly benefit their day-to-day lives, but simply wants to do the right thing.  When we do see the day when Pride is no longer needed you will have made the difference.  

Oh, and sis.  I colored your quote purple just for you.  

Which Is Worse Gay Or Retarded? An Open Letter To Troy Ave

I’ve been seeing this story around about a rapper who seems to be obsessed with trying to find the thing he’d rather his child not be instead of gay.  One post said, “Wats MoreEmbarrasing having a 14yr. Old Visibly Gay Son Or a 14yr. Old mentally Retarded son” You could say that I’m being overly sensitive here.  After all he’s just a rapper and he’s just trying to get attention from people.  So before I go any further I’d like to try this out.  A KKK member is talking with some of his buddies and one says, “You’re looking to adopt and there’s only two children to choose from, which would you pick, a black son, or a mentally retarded son?”  Not so funny now is it? 

At first I saw this and I thought I wish they’d ask my parents that.  I’d love to hear them tell them off.  The thing is I don’t want them to have to see such hatred.  I know, this isn’t specifically intended for me, but I am exactly what he seems to see as his worst nightmare.  So this is my open letter to Troy Ave.

Dear Troy, 

I’ve seen your tweets asking which would be worse, a gay boy or a mentally retarded boy.  Well, I’ll take a little liberty here and include lesbians and say my parents got both in one package.  I was diagnosed as dyslexic and borderline ADD when I was a kid.  This was over 20 years ago and the standard for measuring retardation included me as mildly mentally retarded.  In fact my childhood LD classroom was right next door to the class for the developmentally disabled.  We combined classes from time to time for parties and special events.

There are so many levels of this issue I’d like to go into right now, but I’d like to try and stay on the topic of the issues your audience would care about. I could tell you how my family has always been on my side no matter what my issues brought to them, and that they had the capacity to love me in spite of the issues I bring into their lives.  Well, I just did, and I doubt you really consider that to be important. 

You could say that being a white girl from Indiana this issue doesn’t really have anything to do with me specifically, and maybe in a way you are right.  I was lucky enough to be tested and diagnosed at the age of 7.  On average children from the inner city never get tested and diagnosed.  I did a paper a while ago on attendance in higher education for the learning disabled and one source was a paper on testing, diagnoses, and assistance for the learning disabled among the African American community.  The results are just what one would expect.  It is less frequent and resources are less available for those who are diagnosed.

Here’s the part that does make this my issue.  Testing comes at the behest of the parents.  It’s only with strong parental advocacy that anything about these issues is ever done.  If parents hear your words and agree with them than they won’t get their children tested.  If children with these issues ever hear your words they learn that an idle of their sees them as someone to be ashamed of and will mask their issues not allowing people to know why they are struggling.  This will do nothing but perpetuate the stereotype of the delinquent slow witted kid.  You can fill in the blanks there, I’m sure you know better than I do what happens when children don’t get the education they need.  Just so you know, this isn’t racially motivated; I was put in the same category once because I didn’t pay attention in class.  The fact that I couldn’t read the text books was irrelevant to the teacher. 

The other side of this issue; being gay and what happens to those kids when they are found out by their parents…  They wind up on the streets.  At this time something like 40% of homeless youth are LGBT and the majority of them in many states are black.  I had a friend on Facebook who had been through reparative therapy for being gay over 10 times.  That was how many times he had tried to kill himself because it didn’t work.  I haven’t seen him on FB in a while and he lives in another state, so I’m not sure if he’s still alive. 

Right now, in parts of the gay community, black people are just assumed to be homophobic.  I know this isn’t really the case, but it’s hard to counter that idea while people like you are tweeting things like this.  And again, these are black people so someone like you may ask what this has to do with me.  Well, they’re gay.  That’s what it has to do with me.  I don’t care what race, religion, or nationality they are.  I care that they are LGBT.  Because you know what’s worse than having a gay kid, a retarded kid, or a gay retarded kid?  Having one of them raised by someone like you.  How about you ask this; which is worse a gay kid or a dead kid.  Sadly, I think too many men like you would say gay. 

As for the really developmentally disabled kids, (that’s the actual term now.)  As I said before, I grew up next to the class for the developmentally disabled.  I played with them.  A young lady who’s almost exactly one year younger than me with Downs Syndrome lives just down the road from my mom and dad.  There was a young man who worked at a store I did doing cleaning because that was the most he could do.  I’ve had the privilege of knowing these people, really knowing who they are and how hard they try and the world would be a grimmer sadder place without them. 

Many of them may struggle with something as simple as telling time, but they know something a man like you can never know.  They know that underneath our skin, sexuality, religion, and cognitive level, who we are is what we do with what we can do.  Our value isn’t in how we walk, or the gender of the person we kiss.  It isn’t defined by a speech impediment, or a deformity, but by the way we care about others.  I hope one day you reach their level of social competence. 

Erica Cook

Methodist Pastor Becomes New Martyr To The LGBT Civil Rights Cause

I’ve thought off and on about creating a blog for myself.  I’m kind of one of those people with a lot to say, and not a lot of people to say it too.  But with the issues of going to school with a learning disability along with work, I’ve been leery of starting my own blog because I can’t really promise how consistent I can be in writing it. 

But then something happens that can’t be ignored.  I’ve always liked to stay apprised of what is going on in the world.  My learning disability made that very difficult for most my life.  Reading a newspaper is simply not a practical option.  So at best I was only really ever able to read the headlines and figure what the article was about through that.  Then I found the wonders of reading software that aids the blind.  It also did wonders for me. 

Finally, I could keep up-to-date on the news.  I became the person who not only knew the basics on what was happening, but had read about it.  Well, in a matter of speaking.  Today, like most days, I surfed between listening to articles on LGBT rights and doing school work.  I’m making a Spanish study list which is not much more than busy work so I could do both.  Along with learning that Quakers were helping Ugandans escape assaults, I saw that Obama had met a man who spoke out for LGBT rights.  And then I heard about Rev. CharlesMoore. 

About a month ago he went to a strip mall and doused himself with gasoline and set himself on fire.  The death he endured must have been horrific.  This man fought against racism in his church, and fought segregation.  He did so throughout the civil rights movement and one would have to assume into today’s time.  But that wasn’t enough to lead him to this extreme act.  He didn’t end with racial discrimination.  He continued his work for equality with speaking out for LGBT rights.  He wanted his church to recognize us as good.  He spoke out for us in his church and went on a 15 day hunger strike to try and bring change.  Unfortunately it didn’t work. 

What this led him to do was an unspeakable act.  This wasn’t a gay man.  This man chose to fight for us in spite of his religion’s teachings.  He sacrificed his life in hopes that his action would make people see what harm they are doing.  I’m torn by this action.  On one hand the only thing that shocks me is that it happened in the US and not somewhere like Russia, or Uganda.  On the other hand, a man died, choosing to take his own life, in hopes that it could make the lives of me and mine better.

On one hand, I feel like we can’t let his death be for nothing, but on the other hand, this isn’t what we need.  The LGBT community needs its straight allies alive and willing to speak out for us, and vote.  The fact of this death is heartbreaking, the way he died is horrifying, and the reason he died is a disgrace on the Methodist church.  The fact is this isn’t the first person to die by his own hands because of the teachings of the Methodist church.  LGBT youth die every day because their church has convinced them that their god hates them.  This isn’t limited to the Methodist church. 

I’m afraid he won’t be the last person to try and martyr himself for the cause of LGBT rights.  When does someone do something like this?  I think it’s when they honestly think it is the only way anyone will listen to them.  Now, we have to speak louder, fight harder, and do everything in our power to make sure no one else reaches the point where they think this is the only thing left they can do to speak out for LGBT rights.  It may be one dramatic move that is impossible to ignore, but once it’s done, you can’t say anything else.  We have to make sure that Rev. Charles Moore’s death is the last.