Reflection on 15% Prayed Discount (It's Not What You Think)

Over the weekend I came across this article while scrolling down Facebook.  North Carolina Diner Offers Customers 15 Percent Discount For 'Praying In Public.'  It got my attention not because of the title.  I tend to stay away from articles on other people’s religions unless it has to do with imposing one’s religion on others because overall I consider a person’s beliefs to be their own business.  What my friend had said in short was that such a thing was nothing more than giving Christians the chance to show off their Christianity.
 
I read the article waiting for the usual selfagrandizing preaching that so many evangelical extremists are so good at.  I encourage you to read the article and also to watch the video because what is said is not what is advertised.  It is stated multiple times that first off, this is not a true set discount, and two they don’t care who you pray to or even if it is actual prayer.  I wanted to write about this because I felt there was something deeper going on, and I wanted to give the actual diner the chance to say their peace.  I found their Facebook page Mary's Gourmet Diner and left this note for them.

“I write a blog on a number of issues, and I saw an article about your diner's policy on giving a discount for people who pray. I will try to be short because I saw you have gotten a lot of attention for this. I am concerned that perhaps it is being misrepresented. I saw you say that first this isn't a set rule, but just something done now and then, and second you'd even do it for those who just had quiet meditation.

The issue many people like me have when we see things like this is a focus on Christian ways with exclusion to other traditions. So here's my question. As a Wiccan if I were to give a moment to thank Gaia for her bounty would you count that? Is this limited to the Christian notion of prayer? I'd like to help clear this up if possible, and if you answer I will be happy to share a link to my blog post.”

The message I got back was succinct.  I have a feeling they’ve gotten a lot of messages in the last day or so.  

“You are free to invoke whoever or whatever you desire. Thanks for asking this question.

Peace”

I posed the question the way I did because in my experience nothing is going to invoke the wrath of the right wing religious extremists more than the phrase, “I’m a Wiccan.”  If anything was going to not count towards a discount if this had to do with pushing religion it was going to be that.  So, from what I can tell this is a case of a woman who immigrated to the US from a place where hunger is commonplace, and values a show of gratitude for the availability of it here.

I think the real story in this situation has more to do with the reactions of people to this intended show if generosity.  As a member of the LGBT community there are two things I get pointed out to me on a fairly regular basis.  One is that my sexuality sets me apart from the so called normal society.  I’m okay with that, I have been set aside from the normal society in one way or another since I was an eight year old girl newly diagnosed as dyslexic.  The second is that the Christian god hates me because I am a lesbian.  I’m fine with that too because I’m not a Christian.

This isn’t to say that all straight people see me as other, or that all Christians believe that their god hates gays.  What you have to understand is that far too often the hate is heard more than the love.  We are put in a place of otherness and those things that remind us of that feel like a reminder that we aren’t wanted.  It doesn’t have to be intended for the feeling to be there.

When you add to that the different kinds of injustices and acts of inhumanity that have been done to so many members of the LGBT community in the name of this one religion it isn’t any wonder why the first reaction to the idea of a prayer discount would be seen negatively.  I know that there are other parts of society whose first reaction to seeing something like this might be similar, but there are the reasons I know.  I’d assume that people with other identities that would make them see this badly have similar reactions for similar reasons.  Feel free to share your personal view.

The problem is this isn’t a case of exclusion by the Christian majority.  This isn’t a case of someone trying to make non-Christians act Christian.  The root of this is we have become so sensitized to the wrong done in the name of Christianity that we see it even when it’s not there.  Now, one could argue that many religions don’t have this concept of genuflection before food, but I don’t think this is the point here.  What we have is a woman who is looking for something in the people she serves that she can relate to.

As a person on public assistance who works and goes to school I struggle to find a way to have a reasonably healthy diet within the budget I have for food.  I’ve never been starving, but I’ve had long stretches before that assistance where my food budget was $20 a month.  Being reminded to be grateful for the resources I have isn’t a bad thing.  I saw a lot of cynical statements saying that they were sure no one but Christians ever got the discount, but I’d rather see the best in people whenever possible.  Sure there are times when cruel things are done in a way to be made to look nice.  But sometimes kind things can be made to look cruel and we don’t even realize we’ve done it.

So, tonight when I sit down to my mock chicken nuggets, (vegetarian) with ranch dressing I’m going to take a moment to remember the help my mom has given me to get by while I’m in school.  I’m going to remember that my sister pointed out that I did qualify for food assistance, and that there was nothing wrong with getting the help needed.  I’m going to remember all the people at Indiana children and family services who have always been kind and respectful to me and helped me get on SNAP.  I’m going to remember that getting on SNAP helped me choose to go back to school so I could eventually no longer need it.  I’m going to think about all those people and I’m going to say thank you for those blessings.  Who will I be thanking?  It doesn’t really matter, now does it?

Update: Mary’s Gourmet Diner will be ending the 15% discount.  I spoke with the owner earlier today on Facebook and in her words

“It was never my intent to break the law. I really have only good intentions & thankfulness. Anyway, we are stopping the discount.” 

I know there are those out there who will consider this a win, but I don’t.  I will not deny that it is important to insure that there is no discrimination in business, but there is a point when things can be taken too far.  In speaking with their representative I got the impression of someone who genuinely wanted to do something good for people with no specific religion in mind.  We must always work to fight against injustice in the US and around the world, but we must take better care in insuring we don’t hurt good people doing something different in the process.  As far as I’m concerned here, no one won this and too many lost.  In the fight for equality we must always work to show the best of who we are, in this case we failed.